I Am Whatever I Say I Am

I spent the past week ruminating about what to gab about (mind you, it’s not an easy task) and I came up with an endless list of bizarre (and the not-so-bizarre) topics. Still in pursuit of the I-want-to-live-like-Carrie life, I even though about blogging about random sexcapades – but ha ha – we know how well that’s gonna work *wink*

Anyway…I admit, I’m no writer…I do not have a degree from Cornell looking pretty on my wall, shouting silently to the world, “I’m from a fancy schmancy university - Worship me!” My Facebook profile just lists a top-25-in-the-UK University and not an endless list of Ivy League names. Apart from my failure to achieve a hot-shot degree, my knowledge of anything artistic or musical is severely stunted as well. Sure I love staring at beautiful works of art, ooh-ing and aah-ing appropriately…I also have the ability to “enjoy” Schubert’s fifth symphony. But hand me a canvas with blotches of paint and ask what it means to me, and my answer will invariably be - zilch! nada! no comprendo, por favor!

So what am I trying to say?
Simply put: I’m a failure as a Bengali.

I’ll never sit in a coffee house dragging on a cheap cigarette butt, drinking cha and discussing Marxism…I will also not be arguing why Tagore was, in some ways, a savior to Bengali literature, neither will I ever quietly sit around in a living room with close friends and listen to them sing Ranbindrasangeet with a certain melancholy which only a fellow probashi can comprehend…you get the drift…
Yet, in many ways, my ‘Bongness’ is even greater than - I daresay - Sharat Chandra Bose himself! My uncanny love for fish (be it salmon or hilsa) and sweets is a prime example. Hand me a something sweet and I’m your friend for life…hmmmm, yet, in so many ways I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to…Am I even making any sense?

Time to sign off before I start another crazy spiel!

Besos.

I Try To Do Handstands For You

Okay, since today is International Women’s Day, I decided to write about ’10 Things A Girl Wants You To Know’ (but will probably not tell you)

1. We like getting flowers. Some of us *ahem* won’t admit it – not even if you held us at gun point – but the truth is, we like flowers. Expensive, classy ones. Not stupid red roses!

2. Don’t ask us how many people we’ve slept with until and unless you can actually take it like a man.

3. No, we certainly will not call ‘it’ ‘SIMBAAAAAAAAAA’

4. Unless you want us to trample your ego to smithereens, don’t ask us if we’ve seen bigger. Of course we have!

5. If you don’t want to stop and ask for directions, let us sit behind the wheel.

6. On a first date, even if we offer to pay, don’t allow us to! Especially if you’ve asked us out.

7. Do not bash Oprah

8. Driving a manual transmission car isn’t rocket science. So don’t say ‘it turns you on’ because it sounds ignorant.

9. Star Wars isn’t an alternative to Love Actually

10. We don’t care about the toilet seat, just make sure you don’t leave your towels on the wet floor.

bored@25

This certainly isn't my first blog...I have been blogging pretty much anonymously the past few years. But I have now decided that I'm not going to be a cyber-wimp (I refuse to use the word 'douche') and try this thing out for real. Followers be warned, I have an innate tendency to crack lame jokes and b*tch about my (generally boring) life, in a city I'm growing increasingly tired of. bored@25 will be an attempt to make my existence slightly worthwhile.

Love x

Ps - And no, this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm single and haven't had a decent shag in forever!