Instant Highs

Recently – actually, just today – a colleague of mine posted a note on Facebook titled ‘Unbeatable Combos’: ‘Rainy evenings and pakoras, Newspapers and the smell of fresh ink’ – you get the drift...

Reading her list really got me thinking and so here I am with my own list of ‘Unbeatable Combos’… aka super-awesome this-is-the-life moments :)

* Girlfriends + Couch in Café Coffee Day

* Bangalore + Rain

On second thoughts: Bangalore + Anything/Anyone :)

* Adda (the definition in Bengali may be found here) + Guitar

* Long drives + Incubus

* Wine + Otis Redding

* Cousins + Board/Card games

* Private beach + Rusty

* Thursday morning + Mom & Dad + Brunch

* Pizza + Coke + Lost marathon

* Waking up at 6am + Realising it’s Thursday

* Random strangers + Fun conversations

* Friday afternoon + chick-lit

* Girlfriends in car + Song on radio everyone knows the lyrics to

* Beach + Hopscotch

* Rainy days + Chick-flicks + Häagen-Dazs (or Ben & Jerry’s)

Dating Woes (Pt I)

The 3 stages when it comes to dating (some) Indian guys (pertinent only if you’re in college…because otherwise, it's just sad)

Stage 1: “Just Friends”

Basically, the guy has been secretly in love with the girl since day 1 but was too much of a wimp to do anything (other than ‘friend’ her on Facebook – and has been insistently stalking her since). He tries to ask her out for coffee but ‘just as friends’, of course!

And now they are constantly texting (or should I now say, BBM-ing) each other; he takes her out on shopping sprees… they go for movies, swap stories about exes from hell – you know, the whole enchilada.

Stage 2: “Drunk Dialling”

So now the guy realises he’s slipping further into the ‘Friend Zone’. Quick! It’s time to make a move! But of course, he can’t just ask her out normally… it’s too late for all that now. So he calls her up at 2am pretending to be drunk… girls, guys, you know how the rest goes…

Guy: Gosh, I’m so drunk right now.

Girl: Dude, it’s 2am. WTF you up to?

Guy: Wheeeeeeeeeee…. I love you!

Girl: You what…???

Guy: Oh Man, I’m SO drunk right now!

Girl: You what…?? 

Guy: I don't know what I'm saying. But I love you.

Girl: Call me back when you’re sober.

Guy spends rest of the night kicking himself over and over.

Stage 3: “The Aftermath”

Now, this is where things get really tricky for the guy. He has no idea what’s gonna happen next. Here are some of the possible consequences:

1. Girl never speaks to guy again. Suddenly realises he’s a freak. Deletes him from her friends’ list on Facebook.

2. Asks the guy to never-ever mention the incident again and permanently assigns him to the ‘friend zone’.

3. Admits that she likes him back and they go on to date for about a month when the guy/girl realises he/she can do much better and ends the relationship.

(Disclaimer: All incidents mentioned in this blog post have been written keeping in mind 'certain' individuals. If you're one of them, kindly f*ck off and let others enjoy the post.)

Cheers!

A Few Things I’d like to tell my 16 year old self:

- FAT is just an adjective. It’s not a word that defines who you are or who you are going to be. And it certainly does not dictate how much people will like/hate you.

- HE is not worth it. You’ll find someone else (who again won’t be worth it – twice over). Soon you’ll realise it doesn’t matter…

- Yes, you’ll make it to a Westlife concert (unfortunately, you’ll no longer find Shane, or any of them, hot).

- Death comes to all – even to those you love. It’ll be hard, but you’ll slowly pick up the pieces and move on. Spend as much time with them as possible – and hug them even if you have no reason to.

- Don’t think for a moment your dreams/ambitions are meaningless, that everything will change once you step into the real world.

- Yep, it’s not THAT great!

- That ‘perfect’ guy who loves foreign films, can whip up a gourmet meal and listens to Opeth (as well as Bach) - does NOT exist. Even if he does, he’s probably gay. If he’s not, he’s taken. If not, he simply will not be interested in you. :)

- 26 is not THAT old.

- Neither is 27.

- 10 years down the line, all the things that you think matters, won’t.

Of 'Nerd' Crushes and all that...

OK, so everyone who knows me, kind of knows about my (HUGE) ‘nerd’ crush on Ellis and John Marston. (And those of you who didn’t know, well erm, now you do.) Actually, if you did know Ellis/John the way I (and a million other gamers) do then you’d know why they are so incredibly HOT (and I’m talking major chick-boner here).

So in order to celebrate their awesomeness, I’ll be doing a special post on them (OK, just Ellis actually).

This one’s just a few of Ellis’ quotes from Left 4 Dead 2...

 “I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made a homemade bumper car ride with ridin' mowers in his backyard? Mower blade wounds over 90% of his body. I didn't run him over, either; he somehow managed to fall under his own.”

"I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith drowned in the Tunnel of Love? You wouldn't think it could happen 'cause the water's so shallow, but that's how it gets you, man. Over-confidence. Keith was with his lady at the time, and he was yellin' for her to save him, but she didn't want to get wet."

"I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith fell out the rollercoaster? Yeah, he didn't drop far, mind you, just onto the tracks, but the carnival people wouldn't stop the ride 'cause all the other people paid good money and Keith snuck on for free, so he had to dodge for, like, 20 minutes or so."

"I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith and I were on the top of a burnin' building, and we had to fight our way down like five floors of zombies and― Hey, wait a second...I guess that was you guys. Oh, shit, man, I can't wait to tell Keith about that one!"

“Man, some zombie's gonna have a headache after this.” [After he picks up the frying pan]

"Tonguer!" [In reference to the Smoker]

"A crying girl― You think she's cryin' 'cause the mall closed down?" [Referring to the witch]

"Dude, those zombies are REAL. I knew them books were nonfiction."

And finally, the one that starts everything off…..

"Kill all sons-a-bitches. That's my 'ficial instructions."

Bucket List

Everyone has this.
And personally, I think there's no better way of ending your life than lying on your deathbed and looking at a list of things you were either too chicken or too lazy to do.... So here goes:

1.       Learn Spanish (Advanced)

2.       Learn 3 – 5 different styles of dance

3.       Make a road trip across USA

4.       Fly a kite

5.       Take my best friend on a holiday

6.       Run my own business

7.       Watch Cirque du Soleil

8.       Read 10 classics

9.       Watch (at least) 5 Anime

10.   Learn cake decoration

11.   Camp at Ladakh

12.   Celebrate Durga Pujo in Kolkata

13.   Read 500 books

14.   Memorise 5 of my favourite poems

15.   Learn to do a layup (and reverse layup) – Yes I suck that much!

16.   Dance with a stranger (in a street festival)

17.   Take a picture with a random stranger (in a foreign country)

18.   Enjoy a candlelight dinner under the stars

19.   Crush grapes with my bare feet

20.   Learn to put together a 4-course meal

21.   Visit 5 different places of worship

22.   Ice skate at Hyde Park

23.   Jet Ski

24.   See the Northern Lights

25.   Learn how to knit

26.   Learn how to truly forgive and forget

27.   Watch Riverdance/Lord of the Dance

28.   Make a sculpture from plaster/clay

29.   Own a holiday home

30.   Have breakfast in bed

31.   Watch a musical in London & New York

32.   Spend NYE in a quiet, secluded place

33.   Spend a weekend (alone) in a luxury hotel

34.   Try all the flavours at Baskin Robbins

35.   Go skinny dipping in the middle of the night

36.   Scuba diving

37.   Volunteer in South America

38.   Adopt a child

39.   Dance in the rain

40.   Kiss in the rain (although I’ve already done this, I want to (re)create this memory with someone worth remembering)

41.   Teach a class

42.   Wear a kimono

43.   Fly first class

44.   Write a children’s book

45.   Try white water rafting

46.   Watch 500 foreign films

47.   Try out a Vera Wang wedding dress

48.   Stay in a castle

49.   Pay someone a surprise visit in another country

50.   Take part in a peaceful rally

51.   Attend a costume party

52.   Learn 5 of my favourite songs on the guitar

53.   Live in San Francisco for a month

54.   Go on a cruise

55.   Learn 5 Korean dishes

56.   Take 10 photographs that I’m proud of

57.   Decorate an anniversary cake for my parents

58.   Stay in the water huts in Maldives or Bora Bora

59.   Get over my fear of being forgotten after I die

60.   Spend a year getting into shape and then stay that way forever

61.   Get a makeover

62.   Join a book club

63.   Try horse riding

64.   Take videos of the people I love – especially while they’re laughing

65.   Climb 10 flights of stairs without passing out

66.   Then climb 20

67.   Wear a self-designed traditional outfit

68.   Spend a completely quiet weekend – no TV no Internet

69.   Send my parents somewhere nice on vacation

70.   Try surfing

71.   Maintain a book of inspiring quotes and poems

72.   Improve my piano playing skills

73.   Learn to crotchet Amigurumi

74.   Learn how to ski

75.   Swim in 5 different lakes across the world

76.   Jump into a pool fully clothed

77.   Travel solo

78.   Make a list of 5 things that I’m grateful for every day – for a year

79.   Jump from a cliff into the sea (or any other deep water body)

80.   Hug a panda and/or koala

81.   Visit at least 50 different countries (if not all)

82.   Take up Tai Chi

83.   Live in a monastery for a month

84.   Watch a sporting event

85.   Go camping and stay in a bubble tent

86.   Play hopscotch on the beach

87.   Learn to play the cello

88.   Learn sign language

89.   Attend the Carnival in Venice

90.   Own an apartment with a nice view

91.   Own a super expensive but awesome designer outfit

92.   Throw a dart at a map and travel to where it lands

93.   Meet up with a close pen pal

94.   Travel all over India

95.   Shop at Saks 5^th Avenue

96.   Sell something on Ebay

97.   Cut my hair really short (bob)

98.   Get hold of the first edition of an old book

99.   Watch a meteor shower

100.                        Attend my best friends’ weddings